Sunday, January 13, 2013

Mother Nature

I have decided that part of being a woman is having mood swings. It doesn't matter what my hormones are doing, my mood seems totally separate. For example. The other day I was walking home in the bitter, bitter cold (I never get used to winter. It's so cold!). I had reached the point of numbness where even my brain was numb and was repeating an endless loop of "I hate the freakin' cold. I hate the freakin' cold." I was angry it was cold. I don't know about you, but I find that strange. It's not like Mother Nature had a personal vendetta against me. She isn't sitting up in her little rainbow cloud rubbing her hands together saying "ooo, look, there's a college student. Let's see if I can drop the temperature and make it even windier so she'll be frozen stiff when she gets home. That sounds like fun!"
I think not.
I expect that if Mother Nature were real she would be much more like the friendly, bouncy woman in that old Christmas movie with Rudolph and such characters. You know the one, every one's seen those old puppet movies.

But then a few days later I was practically dancing as I walked home. Actually, I think I did dance a bit. It's not like spring suddenly appeared or I won the lottery. I was randomly jovial. I have no explanation except for hormones. I hadn't changed any part of my daily routine, I hadn't gotten more sleep or eaten healthier. It's a mystery.
I've also decided spell check is a very good thing. I'm not the strongest speller so it's a life saver. And wearing all black doesn't automatically make you look cool. Or ninja like. In any way. I actually looked at myself in a mirror while wearing my work uniform (fast food. gross.) and I was unable to control the grimace that followed. I had always been so good at not looking in the full-length mirror in the locker room. Unfortunately my eye slipped and I saw the atrocity that was my clothing. I think it goes without saying that I walked away very quickly. Very quickly.