In honor of the end (of the semester)

It's the end of the semester. You know what that means? Quotes! Unfortunately, they aren't as good this semester as they have been in the past. This is only partially my fault. I kept forgetting, but I also didn't have professors that were throwing out quotes worthy phrases on a regular basis. So most of these quotes are from my roommates. Thus it is.

“I aspire to be heartless”

“I don’t like your eyebrows."

“I’m the Krispy Kreme all the way through.”

"We have poetry. And camels."

"Jack Sparrow and Sherlock Holmes are drunk on a ship!"

"I would spent money on Pagoravich any day."
"... That sounds like a drug..."
"He plays like he's on drugs!"

"Guys, I still think we should put the snot on the wall.

"Ouch! Right in the feelings!"

"I can't hear you, the toilet is singing to me."

"We'll have sexy face practice."

"He has cute cheeks... he does!"
"Well that's really wrong."
"K----!"*

"How do you play with trees?"
"You hug them."

"Ponies fly actively through portal doors."

"It's like a double wedding, but of the funeral variety."

"Get your vulnerability off me!"

"Our relationship could be a baby!"

"Uneducated, uncivilized, uncultured swine! I'm sure they're good people though."

"I want to take my clothes off."

"I accidentally murdered K--- in the hallway. Twice."

"Today, I bought a head."

"I really don't like clothes."

"I'm a seductive beast."

"I haven't sniffed you yet."

"I don't like you."
"I don't like you either."
"I didn't like you first."
"You sing good."

"My bones were being fat."

"You guys are making me lose all my snot."

"Say no to cannibalism."

"I 'm very attached to my decapitated people."

"I'm not sure it's ethical, but I have to do it. It's like testing rats."

"Just because I kicked you in the face doesn't mean I don't love you!"


*I bleeped out names for the sake of privacy.

Good luck with finals everyone! And if you no longer take finals, count your blessings

http://butlergrizzlies.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/zits.gif

Off to a running start

Forgoing all introductions, I thought I would share my quotes from my summer living at home. Welcome to my new blog!

“They only like large vertebrae. They’re racist that way.”

“Insane as a bumblebee.”

“You sell babies?”

“My humanity is burning.”

“It was hilarious, in that ‘it makes me nauseous’ sort of way.”

“I tried to seduce him with a corn cob. And it worked.”

“If I were him I would take the shower with him.”

“Your head is perfect.”

“The hospital is attacked by fish people.”

“The fish people are all like, ‘land sucks’.”

“If your feet were detached and came to kill me in the night I would be slightly worried.”

“There is a certain time of year when I don’t like to wear pants.”

 “Meat!”

“…No. We’re eating cake.”

“She’s a narwal.”

“Not all people are fat. Just the fat ones.”

“I was poor. P-ew…wait.”

“For all you know it could be a naked tree.”

“They were hugging with their eyes.”

“Becoming a vampire: it’s like getting a haircut, it doesn't count.”

“I don’t have very strong eyebrow muscles.”

“It tastes like frog.”

 “Hedgehogs are spiky kittens, porcupines are demon beavers.”

Washington Post 5/4/09