Off to a running start

Forgoing all introductions, I thought I would share my quotes from my summer living at home. Welcome to my new blog!

“They only like large vertebrae. They’re racist that way.”

“Insane as a bumblebee.”

“You sell babies?”

“My humanity is burning.”

“It was hilarious, in that ‘it makes me nauseous’ sort of way.”

“I tried to seduce him with a corn cob. And it worked.”

“If I were him I would take the shower with him.”

“Your head is perfect.”

“The hospital is attacked by fish people.”

“The fish people are all like, ‘land sucks’.”

“If your feet were detached and came to kill me in the night I would be slightly worried.”

“There is a certain time of year when I don’t like to wear pants.”

 “Meat!”

“…No. We’re eating cake.”

“She’s a narwal.”

“Not all people are fat. Just the fat ones.”

“I was poor. P-ew…wait.”

“For all you know it could be a naked tree.”

“They were hugging with their eyes.”

“Becoming a vampire: it’s like getting a haircut, it doesn't count.”

“I don’t have very strong eyebrow muscles.”

“It tastes like frog.”

 “Hedgehogs are spiky kittens, porcupines are demon beavers.”

Washington Post 5/4/09