Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Of men and facial hair

My campus is a unique one in that it has a dress and grooming code. Basically, the idea is to look clean and to not dye your hair colors of the rainbow. Or, if you are a man, grow a beard. Ten years ago this would not have been much of an issue for guys. But right now the scruffy look is in. Example below:
It fits right in with the bad-guy-but-not-really look. But because of the no beards policy, the guys seem to feel they need to defend their manliness and grow mustaches. There is only one problem with this. Actually, I lied. There are several. I promise to not list them all.

White guys can't grow good mustaches. It ends up looking like puberty peach fuzz half of the time, while the other half of the time it transforms a twenty-something year old into a forty-year old.
Like the other day, I saw the cutest boy on campus. Blonde hair, tall, well dressed, leather messenger bag slung over his shoulder. Somehow the messenger bag is important. Don't ask me why. And then I noticed this blonde, old man-style mustache. It just didn't work. It saddened me.

I recognize my bias here. I don't like mustaches, this is just how it works. But I am not alone in this. I have had several conversation on the subject.
"Imagine kissing."
"I wonder if it tickles?"
"Probably itches."
(contemplating pause)
"I am never marrying a guy with a mustache."
"Me either. He has to shave it off. Even in the winter"

So dear, beloved boys of campus. Clean shaven really is best.

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